Christmas is for Contemplation

St. Francis in Ecstasy
1483
by Giovanni Bellini
 
"What we plant in the soil of contemplation,
we shall reap in the harvest of action."
~Meister Eckhart~

I had the luxury of a mid-day walk today. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and the squirrels were fat. They'd make a great stew. Ahhh....what an absolute gift to have some quiet time.

As I walked, I listened to a CBC Tapestry Podcast featuring Richard Rohr, a Franciscan Priest.  Saint Francis of Assisi, according to Father Rohr has the longest biography of anyone in the Library of Congress. Why? Because Saint Francis was so loved.

As I have written before, I have recently been spending time taking Dharma classes at a local Buddhist temple. I have learned much about the religion, and even more about how our religions can lead us to spiritual practice in our daily interactions.

This is what is most important to me. More often than not now, in situations that used to bait me relentlessly I find myself saying, "Breathe", "Don't bite the hook", "Breathe, breathe, breathe".

 

I realized today that I constantly think in terms of good/bad, me/them. Rarely am I naturally a non-dualistic thinker. It has not been part of our modern western culture. Am I ready to give up the familiar confines of singledom and enter the unfamiliar halls of coupledom? What happens if I fail again? My ego kinda likes being distinguished, even if it's with that "single" adjective. Today part of the discussion was about being in relationship, how your ego, when fully engaged in friendship, marriage or parenting, our own ego has to downsize in order to make room for the "other".

How does this relationship work? Is it good or bad? Right or wrong? Black and white thinking is comfortable and simple. Maybe too simple.

I was born into a protestant Christian family, studied modern western Christianity in University, along with a smattering of other religions, and have attended church sporadically throughout my life.  I love the ritual of the Roman Catholic faith, and although I don't know that I could ever "convert", I find much peace in attending their services - especially funeral masses. I also find comfort in the rhythm and ritual of my own church, but I think that the fundamental institutional structure of the church today has lost it's connection with the conduct of every day living.  The reasons why are many and long, and at least another three blogs worth.

Part of the discussion in the podcast I was listening to today as I strolled around the lake, was about the great number of people who go to confession and confess they have not been to mass. To summarize Father Rohr, this is not the intention of confession. Confession is meant to serve a higher functioning consciousness within us that regards love (agape and eros as well) as a high ethic. Our confession is about about how well we have been able to serve our "god" (our god"self" and that of others).

Oddly enough, today my cousin Dave's blog was about honouring the Sabbath. The Sabbath being the one day a week set aside for spiritual pursuit.

Father Rohr discussed the idea of contemplation today. Of quiet contemplation; no television, radio, internet or conversation. In our last staff spiritual reflection, our Spiritual Care Coordinator led us through a reflection about  capital M, "Mystery" as written by Rachel Remen in her book, My Grandfather's Blessings.

Contemplation is an ancient practice that somehow has become lost in the increasing business of humanity throughout the centuries and meillenia.  I believe, more than attending services, this loss of quiet time for contemplation is significant.  It leads us away from meaningful day-to-day interaction.  As much as we need knowledge of scripture, tradition and ritual, we need to expose our mundane interactions to our spiritual selves.

Non-duality, a term I became familiar with through my study of Buddhism is a concept rooted deeply in all great religions.  Contemplation can lend itself to thinking in a non-dualistic way. In other words, not thinking in opposites. Some of the examples used in the conversation today were tall vs. short, ugly vs. beautiful, good vs. bad. Mystery lies between somewhere, in that black hole where good and bad merge. 

Thinking non-dualistically allows contemplation at a higher level, where notions and ideas are what they are, and not pinned against an opposite in order to be assigned their value.  We are often taught that a thing, event or situation is "good" or "bad", one or the other.  The idea of holding the positive and negative at the same time is not something we have been taught to do or cherish. It's one or the other. Keep this, discard that. We have left little room for mystery.

Just as my sight is limited, I know that there is something beyond the rise of the hill at the foot of the lake. Perhaps this life, this existence goes beyond our being, we just don't have the far-sightedness, so to speak to empirically prove it. This is mystery.

The discussion of contemplation and mystery moved on to ego. I first really learned about "ego" in university as I studied psychology, reglion and great works of literature. Non-dualistic thinking diminishes the ego. When the ego is diminished, we are able to see things more clearly, accept them as they are, even make room for mystery to sit with us and make itself at home. That's where all loving begins, at the beginning of the end of the ego.

One of the catch phrases of the year seems to be, "It is what it is". I've heard it spoken by more advanced students at the temple, by my own clients, and by Father Rohr today.  Acceptance, not needing to act, to be in the moment is a very powerful tool.

Boy oh boy do I wish you could walk right in to Home Depot and purchase that one! Although you can't pull it off a shelf somewhere, this non-duality can be cultivated by each and every one of us. Whichever of the great faiths you associate yourself with, and even if you don't connect with a faith group and even if you consider yourself the greatest of atheists or existentialists, you can apply the idea of non-duality to your life and relationships.

So, while I'm on holidays, after I do some needlework, read a couple of  books on my to-read list, maybe I'll reach for Father Rohr's book, The Naked Now. Or, maybe I'll take some more quiet time, just to sit quietly, to contemplate, to meditate, and to  let the mystery that surrounds us at Christmas time settle in.



Christmas is for Christ and Buddha and Allah and Vishnu and...



"God is too big to fit into one religion"
~Unknown~

Last weekend, in a vain attempt to avoid anything stressful (hahaha I'm so deluded!), I turned to a fashion magazine as an avenue of escape.
The only time I read fashion magazines, tabloids, or as I like to refer to those genres, "smut", is when I'm having my pedicures. Let me digress from the heavy subject of this blog for a moment;

I maintain regular pedicures for two reason; first of all, the thought of having ugly, rough feet makes me weep, and it's pretty much the only time someone touches me without needing me to give them something back. God bless aestheticians! Amen and hallelujah! Rejoice!

Bi-weekly I settle into the giant massage chair with my tootsies soaking in a nice warm pedi-spa and lose myself in literary 'trash'.  Last weekend it was Elle magazine, (forgive me, I can't recall whether it was the Canadian or the American edition).

Yet I digress further;

Let me explain the phenomenon of the pedi-massage chair.  When I tried the third and most recent edition to my regular aesthetics watering hole, I was delighted to try the new seating.

I mean, what could possibly be better than getting a back massage and a pedicure at the same time?!  Pure indulgence.  "Worth every penny," I whispered to myself as I justified the additional ten bucks for the new and improved atmosphere.

For those of you not versed in the finer etiquette of Girldom, spas and all places aesthetics-like have an unwritten code of empress-like conduct.  It is as follows;

1)     Thou shalt not make unnecessary eye contact with other empresses.
2)     Thou shalt not speak unnecessarily unless it involves shoes, handbags, jewelry or man-issues.
3)     Thou shalt turn off thy cellular phone, or at least all sound, vibrating or other irritating options (note -silent texting is allowed).
4)     Thou shalt compliment all neighbouring empresses on their choice of polish colour regardless of how unflattering, tacky and atrociously trashy.
5)     No children beyond the waiting area, no politics, religion, work or other nonsense.

As my lady-of -McDishy's-own-four-foot-square section of Girldom handed me my trash magazine and cup of green tea, I gave the royal nod to her when she asked to turn on the chair.

A little side note here - When someone asks whether or not you'd like the furniture turned on, give consent only after demanding a training session and demonstration of what exactly the furniture will do when "turned on".

Enthusiastically, I nodded my head...oh yes!  Yes! Turn on my miracle massaging chair! Weeee! What a delight!

It began with some sort of mechanical readjustment, thumping and tapping once up, and then down the length of my back. "Just resetting, " I thought as I snugged deeper into the leather seat. And then there was stillness. Oh yah...feet soaking, green tea at my side and a great, light read. Bliss!

Then something went wrong.  Terribly wrong. A huge lump of something rather persistent slowly, but with great machine-like pressure arose under my tailbone and came to rest right there in that space between your thighs that only your lover and gynaecologist know about.  My eyes widened, "What on earth is wrong with this chair?" I thought silently to myself.

Wide eyed, I abruptly looked up to see if anyone was watching me.  Nope. The "little man in the chair" so to speak, then started to thump my back. I was bouncing around in that chair and suddenly wishing I'd worn my sports bra for the occasion. I had never experience turbulence in a pedi-chair before. Any second I expected an oxygen mask to drop from the ceiling. Forget the green tea, I would have scalded myself to death.

The button on the control pad looked straightforward enough, but slightly outside of what I consider to be a comfortable reach.  As I bounced forward, stretching my fingertips toward the controller, the lump between my thighs started massaging (quite nicely by the way) between my thighs. 

My fingers strained to reach the power button as my thighs were squeezed by what only can be described as side air bags. Squeezed so tightly together, my outer thighs were borderline painful as my inner thighs were saying a breathless "Hello" to Julio the massage lump.

I looked up again to see if anyone was witnessing my "massage" chair molestation.  This was getting embarrassing.  My back, neck and shoulders were being kneaded and knocked as my thighs were pinned in the seat and being massaged just above my knee to my butt cheeks - back and forth, back and forth.

Forget the reading. I had all but forgotten about what was going on with my feet.  Feet!?  I was worried I was either going to get trapped in the damn chair or have a giant orgasm.  It was a complete toss up between fear and a breathlessly gasped, "Oh-gawd!".

More than being upset that that flipping anomaly of  technological dimwittedness had ruined my very expensive pedicure, I was shocked at all of the other women shaking and wobbling and not-so-secretly getting their soft spots massaged en masse.

It felt a little dirty.  I felt a little deceived.  Although, in retrospect, I suppose I should have some gratitude for now knowing where to go should my normally vibrant sex life suddenly dry up and go the way of Toni perms.

So, last weekend when my lady-in-Girldom asked if she could turn on my chair, I politely declined and began to read my precious bi-weekly load of trash.

The article that drew my attention was not one about over-the-knee boots, or who was dating the hunk of the moment, or which stud-star of the moment has the best pecs, but  one exploring the recent, "Spiritual But Not Religious" (SBNR) phenomenon.

It is a well known, well documented, thoroughly explored trend that in lean economic times there is a swell in the number of people who turn toward their spirituality for meaning. I mean when things are booming, when the bills are paid, cupboards full, and children well-clothed and over-fed, who needs deeper meaning?

Through the ages plebs and scholars alike have delved into the black hole spiritual dilemma of what it means to be human. Since the swinging 60's it has become more common for people to explore religions other than their own traditions to find what 'works' for them - the individual. 

Increasingly religious institutions are on the decline while the number of individuals incorporating elements from diverse religious practice is climbing.  You could say economic hardship is a boon to introspection, existentialism; who am I if I'm not my profession, what does this mean to me, why am I here now, what is my greatest purpose, if God/Allah/Jehovah/The World is good, why am I suffering.....?????

Reading the Globe and Mail the day following my ritual pedicure, I was sidelined by another article on the decline of "religion" and trends in attendance at traditional religious institutions.

Recently my friends and colleagues have questioned my attendance in Dharma classes at my local Mahayana Buddhist temple. Was I searching for another faith, why did I need to do it, was I straying from my own faith, how can I introduce my son to other religious traditions when he's not solidly grounded in the history and stories of Christianity? Wow.

First of all, as a student of religious studies, and being raised in a protestant Christian family, I have a very strong belief (that I can intelligently argue), that exposure to other faith traditions can strengthen your own.  Not questioning one's own faith is not human nature. It's ok to questions god's(in my case) greatness when great suffering occurs.  If god is good, why are things so bad? When people of strong faith suffer loss, whether it be through death, divorce, job loss, or loss of self, they struggle more with their own spirituatlity than those who have not explored their faith, practice and traditions. After all, if you do the right thing, shouldn't you be rewarded instead of punished with suffering?

In my own experience, the concepts of the Four Noble Truths, the Noble Eightfold Path, and the Three Dharma Seals are concepts that helped me more deeply understand the concept of the trinity, the heart of
Christ, and "Love Thy Neighbour".  Meditation and mindfulness are wonderful practices that can only add to one's ability to function day to day in a more compassionate way.

Not everyone has studied religions. Not everyone understands or can sort out the differences between faith, spirituality and religion. But we all can be better people, and I think that's what's behind the drive of the ebb and flow of the SBNR trend.  We are all compassionate beings just trying to find our way.

The great freedom in debating religion, faith, love, and friendships is that they are all based in emotion and not logic. Yes, an inclusive study of history can answer a lot of questions about religions, but nothing about faith itself. That is the beauty of secular politics - logic. That is why we, as North Americans cannot comprehend issues in areas of the world where politics are faith based.  Faith equals emotion and emotion can't be argued logically. It can only be felt, believed and lived.

So, as I read my trashy magazines, and short articles on such intricate subjects of SBNR let me say that I balk at pop-culture, pandering to the here and now self-absorbed-self-help-pseudo-Oprah-spirituality that seems to have taken my generation by storm. 

I encourage everyone to go back to the source. Go to a temple, church, synagogue, mosque - discover the wisdom in our great traditions. Study. Question. Learn. Question. Practice. Question. Love.









This Buddhism is Very Serious Stuff

"Love is an attachment to another self.
Humour is a form of self-detachment;
 a way of looking at one's existence, 
one's misfortune, or one's discomfort. 
If you really love,
if you really know how to laugh,
the result is the same:
you forget yourself."

~Author Unkown~

Please sit down before you read this. I have something to write that will surprise, if not shock you into feeling disappointed, and possibly disillusioned. No. Really. Make sure you're sitting down before you read any further.

I have not yet attained enlightenment.  Are you ok!? Still with me?

As a matter of fact, today I think the only thing I attained was a cup of coffee at Starbucks and a copy of weekend edition of the Globe and Mail. Wait. Maybe that's obtained. Oh boy.

Earlier this year I decided that the conditions would be right for me to attend Dharma classes at my local Buddhist temple.  I've always wanted to have the time to do this, but what with working and parenting, I never seemed to have the time to really commit.  This was my chance. 

One morning each week, I trundle off to temple with my books, clipboard, bottle of water and a little bit of trepidation.   You see, I know I'm a long way from Nirvana.  Every time I "bite the hook", and become engaged in an argument, or lose my temper, or say something harsh, or in a harsh way (or, the triple gem of screwing up - doing all three at the same time), I know I've got a long, long, long way to go.  Boy, do I have a long way to go.

Hope lies in the teaching I'm receiving from Shifo, my teacher. She has the most pure, beautiful smile, all the while teaching the Dharma to an idiot like myself. I've never loved, feared, admired or wondered about a short, bald, puce-robe wearing woman so much in my life.

I've got the five precepts down I think...I can get by without killing, stealing, lying, sexual misconduct and even taking intoxicants (in a pinch). Does a glass of wine, half a beer or the occasional bottle of bubbly really count after all? This sexual misconduct thing....is it ok if it's two consenting monogamous adults? I mean, I'm just saying....

After my traditional coffee and newspaper outing....

Ok, I have an aside here folks. What the heck is it about people thinking that my newspaper is free game?! I mean, if I had my tattered copy of the The Great Gatsby sitting on the table next to my coffee, would someone assume it was for public perusal? Or, for that matter that my coffee was for randomly shared public consumption? Today a couple grabbed my paper and was just going to take it ( the very copy of the Globe that took me three stops to find yesterday). That is, until my fearlessness (one of the Buddhist three kinds of gifts - NOT this kind of fearlessness I'm assuming) got the better of me, and I let them know that that copy of the paper was spoken for.  They were offended that I actually wanted to read that paper. Perhaps I should have let them take it AND offered them  a taste of my coffee. Yum, yum, yum! Perhaps they should have at least asked if I'd mind if they read it. Which I would have minded since I read it and re-read it and refer back to it, but I would have let them share  anyway 'cause sometimes I'm nice like that.

Where was I? Oh yah, my Dharma classes, and what I got up to after my coffee stop.  I decided to study for my upcoming exam. It's stressing me out a bit. In the best way possible of course, because it's motivating me to study and learn.  I have always taken classes and earned degrees, diplomas, certificates and the like. The reason I'm taking this "course" is much different.  I like the principles involved, and how they apply to my every-day-living-working-parenting-friending-being-impatient-life.  

Learning the Dharma of Buddha in a community like the temple is a rich, life-changing, thought-changing experience. Learning about Buddhism in university, and afterward brought me to a much deeper and meaningful understanding of the Christian faith that I was raised in.  The conversations my classmates and I share after class while eating our lunch are deep, and funny. We talk and laugh a lot.

As much as I need to learn patience, mindfulness and even kindness, I believe humour is an important element in my own life that has served me well. Is humour joy? Joyfulness???  One of the quotes I studied today while preparing for my exam, "Happiness grows when shared. Affinity grows when discrimination vanishes." This idea is at the heart of the concepts of interdependence and interconnectedness of all beings.    My goodness, what on earth will I find funny now? I guess I will continue laughing at myself, and try to laugh with others.

I'll tell you what I found funny today....the way I looked in this sequined tunic today while I was shopping for a little somthin' somthin' to wear out to a few holiday parties.  Yet again aliens abducted me, and they held me against my will in a women's department store changing room! Can you believe it?  I absolutely cannot believe that I'm the only woman I know that this happens to. Then these shopping aliens brought in this sexy sequined tunic, and when I put it on (gasp!), I looked like a 5'8" snake with hips. The horror!  Thank goodness a saleslady heard my giggling cries for help, or I may never have escaped. Or worse, I escaped with only that hippy snakeskin and a pair of tights on...Run McDishy! Run!

Studying today I had a moment of pause thinking I'd have to give up laughing, what with this practice and serious study of the Dharma.  That moment passed.