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| "God is too big to fit into one religion" ~Unknown~ |
The only time I read fashion magazines, tabloids, or as I like to refer to those genres, "smut", is when I'm having my pedicures. Let me digress from the heavy subject of this blog for a moment;
I maintain regular pedicures for two reason; first of all, the thought of having ugly, rough feet makes me weep, and it's pretty much the only time someone touches me without needing me to give them something back. God bless aestheticians! Amen and hallelujah! Rejoice!
Bi-weekly I settle into the giant massage chair with my tootsies soaking in a nice warm pedi-spa and lose myself in literary 'trash'. Last weekend it was Elle magazine, (forgive me, I can't recall whether it was the Canadian or the American edition).
Yet I digress further;
Let me explain the phenomenon of the pedi-massage chair. When I tried the third and most recent edition to my regular aesthetics watering hole, I was delighted to try the new seating.
I mean, what could possibly be better than getting a back massage and a pedicure at the same time?! Pure indulgence. "Worth every penny," I whispered to myself as I justified the additional ten bucks for the new and improved atmosphere.
For those of you not versed in the finer etiquette of Girldom, spas and all places aesthetics-like have an unwritten code of empress-like conduct. It is as follows;
1) Thou shalt not make unnecessary eye contact with other empresses.
2) Thou shalt not speak unnecessarily unless it involves shoes, handbags, jewelry or man-issues.
3) Thou shalt turn off thy cellular phone, or at least all sound, vibrating or other irritating options (note -silent texting is allowed).
4) Thou shalt compliment all neighbouring empresses on their choice of polish colour regardless of how unflattering, tacky and atrociously trashy.
5) No children beyond the waiting area, no politics, religion, work or other nonsense.
As my lady-of -McDishy's-own-four-foot-square section of Girldom handed me my trash magazine and cup of green tea, I gave the royal nod to her when she asked to turn on the chair.
A little side note here - When someone asks whether or not you'd like the furniture turned on, give consent only after demanding a training session and demonstration of what exactly the furniture will do when "turned on".
Enthusiastically, I nodded my head...oh yes! Yes! Turn on my miracle massaging chair! Weeee! What a delight!
It began with some sort of mechanical readjustment, thumping and tapping once up, and then down the length of my back. "Just resetting, " I thought as I snugged deeper into the leather seat. And then there was stillness. Oh yah...feet soaking, green tea at my side and a great, light read. Bliss!
Then something went wrong. Terribly wrong. A huge lump of something rather persistent slowly, but with great machine-like pressure arose under my tailbone and came to rest right there in that space between your thighs that only your lover and gynaecologist know about. My eyes widened, "What on earth is wrong with this chair?" I thought silently to myself.
Wide eyed, I abruptly looked up to see if anyone was watching me. Nope. The "little man in the chair" so to speak, then started to thump my back. I was bouncing around in that chair and suddenly wishing I'd worn my sports bra for the occasion. I had never experience turbulence in a pedi-chair before. Any second I expected an oxygen mask to drop from the ceiling. Forget the green tea, I would have scalded myself to death.
The button on the control pad looked straightforward enough, but slightly outside of what I consider to be a comfortable reach. As I bounced forward, stretching my fingertips toward the controller, the lump between my thighs started massaging (quite nicely by the way) between my thighs.
My fingers strained to reach the power button as my thighs were squeezed by what only can be described as side air bags. Squeezed so tightly together, my outer thighs were borderline painful as my inner thighs were saying a breathless "Hello" to Julio the massage lump.
I looked up again to see if anyone was witnessing my "massage" chair molestation. This was getting embarrassing. My back, neck and shoulders were being kneaded and knocked as my thighs were pinned in the seat and being massaged just above my knee to my butt cheeks - back and forth, back and forth.
Forget the reading. I had all but forgotten about what was going on with my feet. Feet!? I was worried I was either going to get trapped in the damn chair or have a giant orgasm. It was a complete toss up between fear and a breathlessly gasped, "Oh-gawd!".
More than being upset that that flipping anomaly of technological dimwittedness had ruined my very expensive pedicure, I was shocked at all of the other women shaking and wobbling and not-so-secretly getting their soft spots massaged en masse.
It felt a little dirty. I felt a little deceived. Although, in retrospect, I suppose I should have some gratitude for now knowing where to go should my normally vibrant sex life suddenly dry up and go the way of Toni perms.
So, last weekend when my lady-in-Girldom asked if she could turn on my chair, I politely declined and began to read my precious bi-weekly load of trash.
The article that drew my attention was not one about over-the-knee boots, or who was dating the hunk of the moment, or which stud-star of the moment has the best pecs, but one exploring the recent, "Spiritual But Not Religious" (SBNR) phenomenon.
It is a well known, well documented, thoroughly explored trend that in lean economic times there is a swell in the number of people who turn toward their spirituality for meaning. I mean when things are booming, when the bills are paid, cupboards full, and children well-clothed and over-fed, who needs deeper meaning?
Through the ages plebs and scholars alike have delved into the black hole spiritual dilemma of what it means to be human. Since the swinging 60's it has become more common for people to explore religions other than their own traditions to find what 'works' for them - the individual.
Increasingly religious institutions are on the decline while the number of individuals incorporating elements from diverse religious practice is climbing. You could say economic hardship is a boon to introspection, existentialism; who am I if I'm not my profession, what does this mean to me, why am I here now, what is my greatest purpose, if God/Allah/Jehovah/The World is good, why am I suffering.....?????
Reading the Globe and Mail the day following my ritual pedicure, I was sidelined by another article on the decline of "religion" and trends in attendance at traditional religious institutions.
Recently my friends and colleagues have questioned my attendance in Dharma classes at my local Mahayana Buddhist temple. Was I searching for another faith, why did I need to do it, was I straying from my own faith, how can I introduce my son to other religious traditions when he's not solidly grounded in the history and stories of Christianity? Wow.
First of all, as a student of religious studies, and being raised in a protestant Christian family, I have a very strong belief (that I can intelligently argue), that exposure to other faith traditions can strengthen your own. Not questioning one's own faith is not human nature. It's ok to questions god's(in my case) greatness when great suffering occurs. If god is good, why are things so bad? When people of strong faith suffer loss, whether it be through death, divorce, job loss, or loss of self, they struggle more with their own spirituatlity than those who have not explored their faith, practice and traditions. After all, if you do the right thing, shouldn't you be rewarded instead of punished with suffering?
In my own experience, the concepts of the Four Noble Truths, the Noble Eightfold Path, and the Three Dharma Seals are concepts that helped me more deeply understand the concept of the trinity, the heart of
Christ, and "Love Thy Neighbour". Meditation and mindfulness are wonderful practices that can only add to one's ability to function day to day in a more compassionate way.
Not everyone has studied religions. Not everyone understands or can sort out the differences between faith, spirituality and religion. But we all can be better people, and I think that's what's behind the drive of the ebb and flow of the SBNR trend. We are all compassionate beings just trying to find our way.
The great freedom in debating religion, faith, love, and friendships is that they are all based in emotion and not logic. Yes, an inclusive study of history can answer a lot of questions about religions, but nothing about faith itself. That is the beauty of secular politics - logic. That is why we, as North Americans cannot comprehend issues in areas of the world where politics are faith based. Faith equals emotion and emotion can't be argued logically. It can only be felt, believed and lived.
So, as I read my trashy magazines, and short articles on such intricate subjects of SBNR let me say that I balk at pop-culture, pandering to the here and now self-absorbed-self-help-pseudo-Oprah-spirituality that seems to have taken my generation by storm.
I encourage everyone to go back to the source. Go to a temple, church, synagogue, mosque - discover the wisdom in our great traditions. Study. Question. Learn. Question. Practice. Question. Love.
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